Why I’d Love To Be A Toddler
There are so many times where I’ll look at my toddler and think “You have it SO good kid!” Today for instance, it was nap time and I told her as such. Granted, she was playing with some pretty sweet flying unicorns and princess figurines, but it was already late for a nap and she knows the drill. It was pure melt down city. And I know it’s because she was overtired and because we’re on vacation and in a different place. Let me tell you, she has QUITE the set of lungs on her. Anyway, it got me thinking just how good toddlers actually have it! Now picture if this was us, as adults, k?
1) Being told to eat more. Ummmm, yes please? I would LOVE to be told to eat more. As it is, I’m sneaking that 6th slice of pizza all sly behind my back and when I get caught I claim “It’s because I’m breastfeeding! Need the extra calories!” Oh what the hell, lets go for the 7th piece. But seriously, the amount of times I’ve asked my toddler to eat just a little bit more, are just uncountable. I’ve come to accept that she’ll eat if she’s hungry. And if not, it’ll just be the same food reheated. No big deal. But still, I’d love for someone to scoop more of my favorite (picky) food on my plate and say “please eat some more”.
2) Drink more. Ok, this may not be as fun if it was just water or soda. But imagine if this was alcohol? Oh the possibilities could be endless. I mean, basically you’re back in college and you’re being told to “chug, chug, chug!” But this time with chocolate milk. Or apple juice. Now those two I could totally get down with. Seriously, these kids are living the DREAM!
3) Sleep more. Good God yes!!! For the love of all that is holy. If someone asked me to sleep more? No, if someone demanded that I should sleep more, I would honestly get down on my hands and knees and cry in pure grateful joy!!! When I try getting my toddler to go to sleep for a nap or bed time, she sometimes acts like I’ve taken all of her favorite toys and just lit them on fire in front of her face; meanwhile I’m like “Please! Can’t I just sleep in past 6:30am?”
4) Be more active. If my toddler has a slow easy going morning, I just know that nap time will be a crazy ass power struggle that will probably end with us both in tears. So I keep her busy. “Let’s race to the swings. Go down the slide, you love it! Let’s run after that butterfly” type of deal. I mean, obviously this varies depending on what we’re doing, but you get the picture. Even holding my hand walking around the mall is a win. I dread the days we’re cooped up indoors if one of us has a cold, those make for looooong days and even longer “going to bed nights”.
5) Someone picks out super cute outfits for you every day. I’m stoked if I can find a shirt that somewhat matches my shorts. Breastfeeding my baby has made this harder now as I find I’m just circulating the same few tops every week. And sometimes I’m stumped as to what is still in style, matches, fits, looks cute etc. I would be pretty dang happy to wake up and see a cute outfit laid out for me, matching shoes, socks, hair accessory and everything.
6) Someone bathes you. To me, this would be like a spa day. You’re laying there in the bath as someone pours lovely smelling shampoo and conditioner onto your head. It’s like when you get your hair done by your hair stylist. It’s always soooooo nice when someone else is washing your hair, right? They get all massagey with it and use their nails gently against your scalp…aaah. Paradise!
7) If you act like an asshole, people just chalk it up to your age & maturity (i.e. terrible twos, terrible threes, whatever the fours are… you get the picture). Sure, as parents we do our best to avoid these tantrums and yelling fits and melt downs. And we have our own ways of reprimanding: whether it’s time outs, time ins, favorite toy is now done for the day, time to leave the park etc. But I mean how awesome would it be if you could be like “Nah it’s all good, don’t be pissed. See, I’m actually in my terrible 30s”.
8) It’s almost expected that you’ll pull some crazy random shit, at least at one point during the day. I love my toddler (and my baby) with my entire heart and being, but sometimes I’ll look at her and just wonder WHAT compels her to do some of the stuff she does. Ya know? Like this morning when we were having a sweet moment singing The Little Einsteins theme song together and out of nowhere she grabbed a chunk of my hair on either side of my head and randomly yelled “I’m driving your head Mommy!” and proceeded to steer with my hair, super hard.
Overall, toddlers are actually pretty amazing. They’re always learning so much, questioning everything, testing limits, singing songs, trying new foods, growing… it’s a lot! It really is. That being said, I do think sometimes it would just be so awesome to pause all this adulting and just be a toddler for an entire 24 hours. Just some random thoughts from a sleep derived and overly caffeinated mind. Hope you enjoy!