There Will Be Bad Days
My 3 year old daughter loves to pick up phrases from people or cartoons, and then repeat these phrases as much as humanly possible. Last week it was “piece of cake”. Anything and everything was a “piece of cake”. This morning we woke up to “Today is a bad day” and my goodness is she right about that. It is evening now as I write this, and I have heard that phrase applied to anything that remotely has gone wrong. Trying to help her with her shoes? Nope, it’s a bad day. Tried to get both kids out the door to get groceries? This is also a bad day. Trying to get both kids to eat their lunch? How dare you, this is a bad day.
And it is. In fact, it was also a bad night last night. Why? Well, I am trying desperately to night wean my one year old son. And he is just not having it. And it isn’t helping that I am literally too exhausted to stay awake to actually go through with the night weaning. I find myself dozing off and then jumping back to being awake, only to find that we are still nursing. So, at some point, I pray to God that I just somehow figure this out. How I night weaned my oldest has some how alluded me, and I am literally and figuratively just fumbling around in the dark trying to grasp on to a way thst will get him night weaned. But that’s besides the point. My point is, we all didn’t have the best night of sleep either. Because night weaning means a bit of crying, crying means we are all awake and just really NEEDING sleep. Thus the foundation for our bad day.
Motherhood can be so hard sometimes. You wake up, happy to see your sweet sleepy children, you kiss their insanely soft and squishy cheeks and then you go about starting your day… and realize you didn’t prepare for the rollercoaster emotions of a three year old. Or the hunched over walking/sprinting after a newly walking one year old. One minute, my daughter is cupping my face telling me that I’m “the best mama ever”, the next she’s crying because I gave her brother a string cheese when she wanted hers first. At one point, perhaps after hearing how it was “a bad day” for the 17th time this morning, I held my daughter’s hand and walked her over to the couch and sat down so that we were eye to eye.
And I struggled to find the words to explain how we will not always have good days. How you wake up and the world is your oyster, the sun will be shining and you feel happy and ready to tackle the day, but something unexpected happens and you will be blindsided and left grappling with how to move forward. I explained how it’s up to each of us to choose how to carry on. How to brush ourselves off, and pick our head up and keep on keeping on. Because there will be good days that leave us smiling in bed at night and replaying all the fun and happy memories that we made that day; and there will also be bad days, that leave us wide awake staring at the ceiling, wondering what we could have done better or differently. In the middle of explaining (some) of this, my voice cracked (thank you sleep deprivation and nonstop 3 year old melt downs). And I stopped talking in order to gather myself and show her that I could follow my own advice. Again she surprised me, as she patted my knee and said “Aw, it’s ok Mama, we’re tough”. And we are.
Later, after lunch and naps, they both woke up and I prepared myself for more melt downs and tears, and teething and bumps and bruises and everything else that comes with parenting a 1 year old and 3 year old. And I was overjoyed that our “bad day” had morphed into a good day. We all smiled and laughed and played the rest of the day, and somehow made lemonade out of our figurative lemons. So if you are in the thick of it, and you cannot wait for your bad day to just be over and done with so you can put it behind you? Please know that you’re not alone. We all have them. And as always, you’ve got this, Mama.