The Second Baby’s Firsts
When my daughter was born, I wanted to witness, document, record and photograph all of her firsts. I had a notepad that I would jot dates and information down whenever I wasn’t near her baby book, and I loved buying all the “baby’s first” stickers or onesies for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter etc. As an only child, I didn’t really give much thought into how this might be different whenever I had a second baby. As the idea of even having a second baby was pretty far off in my mind. I couldn’t even fathom how I could have a second baby in addition to my first. And as my daughter learned to crawl and walk and talk and learn, I started feeling more at ease with the idea of a new baby. And right around 14 months that second baby itch started to really rise up. My husband and I really wanted to give her a sibling, and we didn’t know how long it would take to get pregnant as I don’t menstruate when I’m breastfeeding.
We got pregnant very quickly with our second baby. For some reason I just assumed that I would have another girl. I don’t exactly know why. I knew that I would be ecstatic either way, but I hadn’t really prepared myself by just how much joy we’d have when we found out we would have a child of each gender. Immediately all of our pink items (stroller, high chair, clothes, bathtub etc all rushed to mind as I excitedly jumped up and down and covered my daughter and husband with happy and excited hugs and kisses upon finding out baby #2’s gender.
Fast forward to when we brought our son home and I was taking a TON of pictures of the two of my children. And then it hit me, with two kids would I be able to capture all of my son’s firsts like I did for my daughter? What if I got distracted and turned around and he was crawling? What if I wasn’t even in the same room? I know this is kind of silly in the grand scheme of things, but it really tugged at my heart strings. And so I made it my personal mission to try doing everything with my son that I had done with my daughter. So this meant taking them both to JcPenney’s for their milestone pictures, recording first rolling over, first crawl, first standing up etc. I just want to be able to at least attempt to show both of my children that they had the same childhood, even though I know both of theirs is vastly different.
A few of my mom friends of multiples have assured me that it just happens that way with the second baby, that it’s natural, and that having my son as my second baby is actually beneficial as he might not care about these types of things as much as my daughter might. Regardless, I’m proud that I have made the same effort for both of them and even though it might not be the exact same, or have the exact amount of pictures as a baby, or the exact amount of videos; what matters is that my husband and I both love on them as much as we can, and I feel like that is what matters most. Because at the end of the day, we really all are just trying our hardest, and I feel like that’s what kids truly notice.