That Mom Life
The other day I had my toddler use the potty, as she had just chugged her entire cup of water. Normal. Routine. Right? Well, it was, until I then turned to my husband and said “Ok, do you need to go potty? Because you drank a lot of water too.” Yup. I said that. We both looked at each other, horrified, for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. And it got me thinking, I just think differently as a mom now! And here are some reasons why:
1) I have very little sense of embarrassment now. When I’m walking through the grocery store with my baby strapped in the Ergo and my toddler swinging her legs in the grocery cart seat demanding to know what sound a lion makes (she dang well knows, she just likes my animal sounds, haha), you can bet that I am roaring while grabbing the nearest jar of peanut butter at the same time. When my baby starts crying loudly as I’m reaching for creamer, I’m doing it while dancing him back to sleep. And it’s not a pretty dance. It’s more like a “lightly bounce on one foot, sashay to the left, oops he’s waking up lets do some more light bouncing, ow my knees hurt I’m getting old, ah there he’s back to sleep, thank God” kind of dance. Sexy, I know. Fergie really should have asked me for my moves in her ‘M.I.L.F. $’ video.
2) I don’t know any new hit songs. Why? Because when I’m in my car, I’m not listening to the top radio stations, I’m checking to see if my baby fell asleep in the rear view mirror while singing the Doc McStuffins theme song with my toddler. So yeah, if you ask me about the latest Disney Junior songs, I’ll be able to answer you and recite every lyric without missing a beat. Though in my humble opinion, I think The Lion Guard songs are the best.
3) When I shop for clothes, I’m not looking for the latest fashion trend, I’m looking for clothes that are easy to breastfeed in. For example: it’s almost impossible for me to breastfeed in a dress, unless the top is super stretchy or a halter type that I can yank to one side. So I’m a huge fan of breastfeeding accessible clothing. Right now I find myself mainly rocking t-shirts from Target and Old Navy, they are sooooo comfy. And I’m all about feeling comfortable these days.
4) Speaking of shopping, I have more fun getting clothes for my kids than I do for myself. And this is a weird one for me!! Before kids, I used to LOVE getting myself a new blouse or new shoes. And now, there’s just something SO fun about finding a sweet dress for my toddler, or an adorable outfit for my baby son.
5) When I get my hair cut, I’m not asking for the latest style, I’m asking if I’ll still be able to whip my hair up into a sloppy bun or pony tail. And you all know why! Because when you’re dealing with a very messy diaper or trying to strap shoes on a squirming toddler, the last thing you want are your bangs poking you repeatedly in the eye and blinding you. All wits must be about you when it comes to diaper changes. Especially with little boys!
6) Goodbye birthday present designer purses. Hello giant diaper bag bursting at the seams. Because now I’m packing for three people! Baby: diapers, wipes, cloth diapers for spit up, change of clothes, teething toys. Toddler: sippy cup, bag of fruit, some type of fruit & veggie pouch, small toy or book in case of needed distraction, sun screen. Me: wallet, sunglasses and phone. Maybe a Chapstick if I can shove it in the front pocket and position everything just right.
7) When we plan for vacation, it’s mainly about the kids. And boy do I research. How long will the drive or flight be? What attractions are around that are for kids, or at the very least, that are kid friendly? Are there kid friendly restaurants? How close is a park? What time is hotel check in so we can plan our travel around the most important nap of the day? Preparation, my friends. You don’t want to fall into what my best friend’s dad calls the “Four P’s”: Piss Poor Prior Planning. Wisest words of wisdom ever.
8) My car (mom van) looks like a thousand kids have been inside of it. I mean, that thing is almost constantly a hot mess. Full of spilled goldfish, Cheerios, blueberries, empty juice boxes, books, toys, blankets, towels, an emergency potty in the far back, grocery bags for said potty. You get the picture. And when I do make the effort to clean it, it’s back to it’s former state within minutes. But you know what, I’d rather have all those things just in case, than be scrambling for a bag of Cheerios as I hear how hungry my toddler is. Four P’s, people.
9) I’ve become the master of distraction. I’ve found that by taking something out of my toddler’s hands that she’s not supposed to be playing with (ex: mommy’s prized eye liner) will only result in, at BEST, a “but why?” asked a few times; and at worst, a full blown melt down. And really, who can blame her? She’s just curious. I’d be pissed too if someone randomly walked up to me and yanked something out of my hand that I was looking at. So now, I distract. “Hey! Our fish looks hungry, wanna help me feed him?” Or “oh my goodness I think I see a spider on the wall! Let’s go see!” You gotta do what you gotta do.
10) The vast majority of the pictures on my iPhone are of my children. And the same goes for my social media accounts. Before I had children, I would take pictures of scenery, our dog, my husband and I, my friends and I, etc. And I still take those types of pictures, but I find myself whipping my phone out to capture a sweet or funny moment of my children easily every day. Because at the end of the day, they won’t be this little forever, and I want to remember as much as I can.
And even as I reread this “mom life” list, it doesn’t make me sad or wish for my old life before kids at all. It actually makes me smile and it makes me happy. And laugh! Because I know it won’t always be this way; and to be honest, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.