I’m Going To Miss This
I’m going to miss the curl of your tiny chubby fist clutching my shirt as you breastfeed to sleep. I will miss how that sweet little fist slowly relaxes into an open hand resting gently on my chest. I’m going to miss the way you sigh contentedly while sleep-nursing, and the way your sweet eyelids flutter as your drift off into an even deeper sleep, while I stare at your soft chubby cheeks.
I will miss the way you sometimes nuzzle your face back and forth into random parts of my shirt, telling me in your own special way that you are hungry and would like to breastfeed now. I will miss the way you still have to touch things that interest you, even when you are in the middle of breastfeeding; whether it is a button on my shirt or a zipper that you simply must grab on to. I will miss the way you sometimes giggle while nursing solely because I smiled at you.
I’m going to miss the way you sweetly stare into my eyes while nursing, or when you sporadically grin and your entire face lights up and it’s just you and me, and we are bonding in the most special and heartwarming of ways. I’m going to miss the way your small little body rests ever so gently in my arms, with your sweet little head in the crook of my elbow and my other arm cradling your legs and bottom. I’m going to miss feeling like I can comfort you no matter what happens, because I will always be there for you and ready to scoop you up into my arms for a quick comfort nursing session.
I’m even going to miss how much you nurse throughout the night. Because I know at some point, many many years from now, when I am old and wrinkled with grey hair, I’m going to remember what it was like to hear that unique baby cry telling me that you want to breastfeed and that you simply need me. I will miss how it was just you and me up at 2am, and how your sweet warm little body fit against mine as you drifted back to sleep.
There are so many beautiful, heart warming and ever so special breastfeeding moments that I just know I am truly and heart achingly going to miss, and I want to soak in all of these sweet moments to the very fullest. Even though you are still breastfeeding quite strong, it is almost bittersweet for me because I know that slowly, every day you will need me less and less; such is the ever evolving relationship between a mother and her child. So for now I will continue to relish these moments with you, my sweet baby, and try my very best to freeze time.