I Promise I Know What I’m Doing
Well let’s just jump right into it, let’s talk about when random strangers (or I guess anyone for that matter) give you unsolicited parenting advice. This just happened yesterday: I was out running errands with my kids and I was feeling particularly daring and adventurous after conquering both Target and Kohls without a single melt down and only one shoe throwing incident (I’ll get to that later) and I thought to myself, “ya know what? You’ve got this day. You’re totally winning at this mom of a any and toddler thing even though your shorts have a raspberry toddler handprint smeared on them & your baby spit up in your hair and ear, let’s do this. Let’s treat ourselves & go out to lunch with them at a restaurant.” Just me, my toddler and 5 month old baby, smart right?
Ok, so the funny part is that they were actually fine. We had a great lunch together. What wasn’t fine, was when our waitress brought our drinks, and as my toddler had been jumping up and down on the seat, I used that moment to coax her to sit in her booster seat by saying she could have her milk if she did. (She did immediately because she loves milk & we were both happy lil campers). Cue the unsolicited parenting advice. She was like “You know, you really shouldn’t bribe them.” And I’m staring at her, resting my chin on my hand like “Oh really, tell me more about how I should raise my own children who I grew and birthed and am with every single day of their lives”. And she said “I mean, I get it. I totally get it. I watch my niece once a month and she always wants to play Sophia the 8th and play dress up with her mom’s clothes, it’s just super exhausting”.
Ok, A) it’s Sophia the first. Get it right. And B), no you obviously don’t get it. And furthermore, that actually doesn’t even sound that challenging. That sounds pretty damn normal to me. Why? Because I am a MOM. You wanna hear about challenging? Challenging is breastfeeding a teething baby who wants to gnaw on anything and everything they can possible get their hands on. Breastfeeding a teething baby is like willingly sticking your boob straight inside a piranha’s mouth & just throwing yo hands up and praying for the best. Challenging is catching your kid’s vomit with your bare hands or your own shirt. Challenging is convincing your toddler to keep their shoes on while you are out running errands because they’ve just randomly decided that they’re over shoes. They don’t like shoes. They don’t want shoes. They can’t even looks at shoes without screaming “I said NO shoes!!!” at the top of their lungs. Just chucking their own shoes over their shoulder all willy nilly, and you’re just trying to handle all of this “this is so not funny now but I’m sure it will be funny later” with a baby strapped to you, drooling down into your bra. Just, come on.
Yeah, ya know what? I was a perfect parent too, BEFORE I had kids. In my pre-child mind, my future kids slept all night, they ate their vegetables, and they never had temper tantrums or sleep regressions. It bit while breastfeeding. Ever. But then I actually HAD children and I met reality and we’ve been real good friends ever since. I dunno. I mean, I’m assuming she was just trying to be helpful, but like, just don’t. Don’t judge other people and how they parent. You don’t know what goes on at their house. I would wager a guess that for the most part, moms and dads are all just trying their very best. And if that means that sometimes they need to use an innocent little bribe? Oh well! That’s what works for them. They’re not telling YOU that you need to parent this way.
Ugh. Le sigh. People! Haha. I seriously need a shirt that says “I have two children. I promise I know what I’m doing.” Anyway, hope you’re all having a good weekend, check me out on Instagram at StressedandBlessedMama, I’ve teamed up with a shop called Grins and Grace to give away a “Hot Mess and happy” shirt, it’s super cute, and we’re announcing the winner today by 6pm PST. Ok. Bye!